Why? Because People Suck. That’s Why.

People are funny. They want to fit in, even if it’s with a bunch of judgmental a**holes. Why? Because we’re human. Humans need other humans to survive. It’s both a blessing, and a curse. The world would be so much easier if it weren’t this way. Unfortunately, none of us would be here at all if it wasn’t true.

You see, when people are different, it’s a problem. Other people don’t understand different. It scares them. It disturbs them. Yet, it fascinates them to think that there is possibly other ways to live than the way that they do. Other ways to think. That there is life outside of the fishbowls that they live and find comfort in.

People are judgmental by nature. If something doesn’t fit in with their way of seeing or doing things, it’s wrong. Even those who say they don’t like to judge, do just that. It’s in their nature. They can’t help themselves. Even when they know it is wrong, and don’t want to do it. We try not to think about it, because the guilt is just too much sometimes. We are a selfish bunch. We don’t like to think that maybe the way we are doing something could be done a different, better way. Or that others may be more entitled to something than we are. Or that someone’s suffering could possibly be worse than ours. Admitting that means admitting that we’re wrong, or flawed, and we don’t like to feel that way.

Say for example, that you are out with your kids. Maybe one is Autistic, and is having a bad day. He/she is just too overwhelmed by all of the sensory input that is smacking them in the face everywhere they turn. So they get frustrated that they can’t make it stop. A meltdown ensues. Along the way, you may see one or two sympathetic onlookers. Others will look at you with disdain. Others still, will be downright offended. Judging you on your parenting skills. Telling you that you shouldn’t take your children out if you can’t control them.

Then you react. It’s like dealing with the school bullies all over again. Except you’re an adult now, and this isn’t a playground. The rules have changed. You have to be civilized. You have to resist the urge to punch them in the face for being ignorant jerks who have not learned how to mind their own damn business. Who can’t accept that people are not all the same. Or that you, and the child you are currently slinging under your arm while bracing yourself for their violent objection to you doing so, have just as much right to leave your home as anyone else.

So instead, you muster a “Sorry, my child is Autistic”, or “What’s the matter, haven’t you seen a meltdown before?” or “Can I help you?” with an angry, hurt look on your face. Sometimes your words aren’t so kind. So you curse and hurl insults at them while you try to muster some sense of dignity while dragging your screaming child out of wherever it is that you are. You’re angry, and hurt, and exhausted. In your head, you are judging those who are judging you. Thinking what insensitive a**holes they really are, and who the f**k do they think they are, anyways? They aren’t perfect, either. So why are they making a difficult situation even harder than it has to be?

The reason is simple. Why? Because people suck, that’s why. There’s no use in denying it. We can advocate until we are blue in the face for acceptance for whatever causes we support. But when it really comes down to it, how much of the response we get is just going to be lip service to get us to shut the hell up? Think about it. Everyone is different. We all have our own quirks, and likes and dislikes. There are different cultures and traditions, social classes, etc. Everyone is entitled to their own, as long as what they do doesn’t interfere with what we do. We are a very hypocritical, contradictory bunch.

It’s okay to be different. It’s good to accept and include everyone. How boring would life be if we were all the same? It sounds great in theory, but it’s almost impossible to have this actually become reality. Even those who are fighting for the same things as we are can’t agree. Like in the Autistic community. Those who are, or have children on the so called “higher functioning” end of the spectrum, get offended by stereotypes perpetuated in the media by those who choose to spotlight the struggles of those on the “lower functioning” end of the spectrum. Or, those who have children on the more “severe” end will complain and say that they are angry about how the other end represents Autism. Like it’s all fuzzy and warm, and sparkles and rainbows. Or  they’ll say that it isn’t really Autism. That they have no idea what it’s really like to deal with the “real” thing. Again, it’s the whole mentality that nobody is allowed to feel anything that we don’t. Nobody’s suffering is worse than our own. Nobody is allowed to experience the same things differently than we do.

If we really want to put and end to injustice, prejudice, bigotry, etc in our world, we are going to need to change ourselves. Which is not something that will be easy. Humans don’t like change. If we are to be honest with ourselves, we must admit that in order for true acceptance and inclusion for all to exist, literally everyone is going to need to change the way that they view the world and their fellow human beings. Everyone. Including ourselves. It’s not a very pleasant thought, is it?